In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
