So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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