did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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