What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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