i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
