Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
