I think I am morally bankrupt
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
