Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Is Oprah even human
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
