Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
