Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
