Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
