hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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