Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She bit a glass in half.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
