I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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