This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We talked him into tasing himself.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
