He kissed a someone with a penis
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
