Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
