take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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