? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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