it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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