Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
