So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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