if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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