I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
