party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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