i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
