i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize