i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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