Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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