the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize