Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
