Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
