If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Randomize
