Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize