I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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