He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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