yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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