just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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