he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
