I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
When did angry sex become our thing?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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