Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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