we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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