I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
This baby is an asshole
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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