Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize