thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I think we might need a safe word for this...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
