he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize