he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
