Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Success! We fucked roommates!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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