my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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