I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
