Christians are straight up FREAKS
if i can run in heels then i can drive
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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