My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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