I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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