??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
