is your mom at the bar?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
