also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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